When it comes to writing, being able to get your point across clearly is the main goal. Through the use of evidentiary support as well as precise, descriptive wording, a reader will not just simply read,but instead find themselves transported to the image the writer is portraying. Prior to my time in Professor Dalton’s class, I had struggled with finding a way for my writing to come alive and evoke emotion in the way I hoped for. During my time in this class, I have not only learned how to be a social scientist, but have learned the importance of using concrete language in order to bring a piece of writing to life. I have also learned how to draw on outside resources to enhance my writing as well as developing the social aspect of the writing process. I have watched my writing improve drastically during my time in this class and there are many examples to show for it.
When the class first began, I had went in with the mindset that the way I write would be enough to get by, but I was met with a big surprise. Although my writing was good, there were ways that it can be improved and Professor Dalton’s lessons helped open my eyes. During the second week of classes, we had began learning the process of using concrete and precise language to enhance our writing as well as the senses evoked from it. He had given a free write assignment in which we were to write a brief piece on where we were from, but the catch was that the use of precise language was absolutely necessary. As I began writing, it came to my attention that my descriptive writing was not up to par and it was pretty clear to see as well. Even though I tried using descriptive words, I wasn’t quite able to get out the emotion as well as I hoped for. A prime example of my failed attempt at precise language is when I wrote “ I’m from the Bronx where screaming and partying goes on throughout the entire night.” Although the words do give a brief mental image into what I was speaking on, there were more precise ways I could’ve written it. For instance the sentence could’ve been “ I’m from the Bronx where screaming till your throat is sore and listening to music so loud the floor shakes, is a normal night.” In that sentence the image of partying with loud music and people screaming is more vivid as opposed to my previous sentence. Another example of a failed description is “ I believe the Bronx holds beauty on every street and carries a story wherever you go.” This sentence brings some intrigue but doesn’t elaborate on the beauty or stories I’m referring to. While I may know exactly what I’m speaking on, my readers won’t get the same idea. The sentence could’ve been improved if I wrote “ The Bronx holds beauty on every street whether it be intricate graffiti on the walls or old style brick buildings. Everywhere in the Bronx holds a story, good or bad, and those who reside here know of the intense emotions we feel as a community.” With this revised sentence, the mental image of the Bronx is driven home with the mention of what is seen and the emotions residents feel as they travel in the area. At this point of the semester, I have gained a better understanding of what concrete language is and how to use it, however there are still other pieces of my writing up for revision.
Another piece of writing that exhibits my difficulty with concrete language was the Free Write assigned on February sixth in which we were to write about the subcultures we fell into. As we know a subculture is defined as “any self- identified group of people who share language, stories, rituals, behaviors, and values.” After reviewing Box 1 on page 5 of the FieldWorking textbook, my understanding of subcultures increased and my approach to the free write had strengthened. Even though the writing itself was strong, as I read through it with a new mindset, I realized that there were countless areas in need of improvement. Perhaps the biggest issue I had with this piece was finding the correct words to properly end an idea. Instead of ending with the point or details clearly given, I was abruptly ending a sentence without fully exploring the idea. A prime example of this is “For instance we almost always make pasteles for Christmas because that’s just the way we are.” While the sentence briefly explains a Puerto Rican tradition, a proper explanation of the tradition is clearly lacking. A better way to word this would be “Pasteles, which are similar to tamales are known as the staple meal of a traditional Puerto Rican Christmas. Although it is unknown as to why they are always made during Christmas, no true Puerto Rican strays from this tradition.” If this sentence would’ve been placed, not only is the image of pasteles clearer, but the story behind them is also told which is the main goal here. Being able to catch my errors with language has been one of the best things I’ve learned so far this semester. I have been able to revise my writing in a way that is precise and concrete while learning how to properly use sources and even conquer the social aspect of my writing.
One of the most important parts of being a Social Scientist is knowing how to use your sources. Whether your sources are drawn from a book or even a person, it is crucial to know how to use these sources correctly when writing. At the beginning of class, my sourcing skills were sub par to say the least. Given the fact I barely used sources for papers unless requires, I wasn’t necessarily the best when it came to using sources in my writing. What I learned from this class was how to properly develop the social aspect of my writing meaning I learned how to use people as my main source for a piece of writing. In the field notes essay for big paper, I felt that the way I wrote about my source was very strong. I made sure to mention her personal opinions without sounding bias as well as drawing on her knowledge of the site in order to strengthen the overall image I hoped to portray. An example of my source coming through in my writing is “Brittney told me that the room is often used for studying and known as the quiet room and during regular days, you can find many students in there.” Not only was I able to explain a room in the dorms, but was able to draw on knowledge from someone who resided there and paint an accurate picture. Another example is “ She had notified us that the room she was staying in was the cheaper option for students who choose to dorm.” In this sentence, I was able to get a feel for the what the cheapest floor plan looked like while also having her confirm my prior research into the pricing of the rooms. When I first started the class, I knew I would struggle with certain aspects of the writing, but I am happy I was able to improve the way I did.
Overall being in this class has strengthened my skills as a writer. I no longer struggle with finding precise language to describe something or someone nor do I struggle with the social aspect of writing. Being in this class has helped me learn and meet class learning outcomes to the best of my abilities. There is still room for me to improve my writing as college goes along but this semester has taught me a lot. Not only am I a better writer, but I now see the world through a new lens; the lens of a Social Scientist.

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